No Respect

"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door and my wife told me to hide in the closet ." Rodney Dangerfield


Every time I think I have seen it all or heard it all, the world provides me with some new act to amuse, annoy,aggravate or be apathetic towards.

Secrets are only safe when they are never shared. Secrets made between two become a confidence . Secrets kept from friends are a deception. Acts of intentional deception are a lie. There is no pretty way to say it, no amount of justification to make it right.

Too often secrets are ways of avoiding truths for the keeper and the owner. The keeper of the secret will claim to have been loyal, yet the loyalty ends when the owners reliability or sincerity becomes questionable. This can be a day later, a week later or months later . Others who had information on the owner of the secret are accused of being deceptive, why? because the questions where not asked .

How many others hear , "i have never told this to anyone else" , "i would die if anyone knew", "it would cause problems or harm if s/he finds out"
If it's a confidence ,guard it as the treasure it is . Secrets tend to come out
sort of like roaches , plentiful, filthy little animals with absolutely no value or use. The truth may hurt for a while, a lie may never heal .

Talking at or speaking to

Lover's don't finally meet somewhere, they are in each other all along " ~Rumi

As a society people pass each other daily, and make judgements based on what they see. This is not mean, or cruel it is simply one of the first methods of attraction. A women who takes the time to bathe, make sure her hair is brushed and styled and her clothes are clean and neat will be attractive to someone. A man who trims his facial hair, is bathed, and has his clothes clean will attract someone. It's not the perfect figure or the incredible muscles that keeps a relationship past a few minutes of weather chat. It is what shines from within a person that makes them continuously appealing and interesting .

I fully believe in beshert or a soul mate , that for each person there is the one created for them. Some people are able to find theirs early in life and spend many years together, others rush so hard to find someone that they will just settle for less , some search and never find theirs for what ever reason . The One is there though, and it may have been the person you refused to give the time of day to because they didn't dress as you thought they should, or didn't speak with the right accent, or perhaps the color of their skin is different than yours.

No matter what belief a person has on how humanity came into being , we are all human (okay some are knuckle draggin low brows .) but we are all human, we have similar cell structure, biologically function the same and breathe the same air . Take a moment to practice humanity , speak kindly to another, smile even if you feel though your heart is breaking . You never know that the moment you took to speak to someone rather than just talking at them, may be the One who has existed within you all along .

the "L" word

“It is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts... For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.” patrick henry

Love is a sacred word for One who is honored, cherished, respected, and cared for. So often it is thrown out randomly with no thought of how another may feel of the word. That the meaning would be taken to heart, that it is a mutual sign of deep admiration and caring .

I love my children, my pets, my garden,
I love ben and jerrys chocolate fudge ice cream, i love walks on the beach, i love thunder storms.

If i tell a person I love them, it is because I will be there to help them bury the body , i will speak to them when we have difficulties, I will be there, now , next week , next month , always and all ways. I will not change or disconnect my phone number, i may not answer it immediately but I seldom do . I will not block your email, I won't lie to you .

For those who use the word as commonly as the word water , stop a few minutes and think of the effect you may have on another . Your declaration is a commitment be prepared to honor it.

thief of hearts ~

Had mine eyes been open when first we met
I would had seen through your disguise.
Thy words are those no longer spoke by men.
found only on pages now faded and yellowed with time
Yet words as smooth as the finest silk
would not allow you to forever hide.

I see Thee now , as many have seen Thee before
So subtly You enter causing the victim of your deception
to open their heart and soul to You .
The mind, the body and spirit become your playground ~
By doing so they stand naked before you...

There is an unwritten rule that everyone should post poetry ,no matter how bad. I am not excluded from this and have scribblings on many small pieces of paper, index cards , the back of a napkin. These small swatches are my confidant , my psychiatrist and my way of clearing away negative thoughts and reaching for the positive . Often the writing goes unfinished as what could become bitterness leaves and the sharp point of the knife withdraws . In order to go forward it is necessary to let go of the past harms and heartaches and to dream of things that bring a smile to your lips as well as your heart ~

the truth may hurt for a moment

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. ~Thomas Merton

Since everything worth saying has already been said, many times with more eloquence and tact than I personally convey, thank you Mr Merton .

Sometimes it takes a girls night out to set priorities and to re evaluate what is important. If its coffee at the table or 3 phones , 2 coffee pots (one traitor drinks instant ) and three ash trays that need to be emptied because they are over flowing with the recent pain, sorrows, tears, and frustrations of the daily grind , or fonts screaming across a screen. It's not the how, but the who.

In the search for friendship and love of the opposite sex the ones who are always there sometimes are forgotten. They sit back, waiting patiently for you to come back to your senses, they are the ones who are going to dry tears, offer a shoulder if you need one, and will move aside and let you push the button on the wood chipper .

In the search for love, sometimes the light is so strong that it is blinding n. Then one must step back into the shadows to clearly see not everyone is what they appear to be. More often they aren't what we want them to be. If each time someone was hurt by another who did not meet their expectations or hopes they stopped reaching out , the world would be a very cold place. It is the continued risk that allows growth, it is the pain that allows one to understand joy, it is when suffering is embraced that it can become healing. By understanding that the small things are lessons for when the something bigger comes along and there is no good or bad, only energy, it is then possible to use the energy in a positive way .

The answer is not always in the light.... Sometimes one must walk in the shadows to find them